Older people find it difficult to remarry
Among the elderly people who came to register, the proportion of those who were supported by their children and those who were opposed by their children was almost equal. The main reason for the opposition is that the children are worried that the old people will share their property and savings with their other half after marriage, which will affect their property inheritance, or even that the old people will be cheated into marriage and wealth.
“Hold your hand and grow old together with you” is everyone’s expectation of love. In recent years, the marriage demand of the elderly is on the rise year by year. However, due to the influence of traditional concepts, economy, family and other factors, some single elderly people face the situation of unaccompanied and dying alone in their later years. Many of them have the desire to find a partner, but subject to some resistance and pressure, dare not find, no opportunity to find.
Single old people need love
Lu Dabo, 80, is a retiree from a public institution in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province. After his wife passed away last year, my son wanted him to find another wife. “It took a long time to get rid of the loneliness, the loneliness, the emptiness that I felt when my wife died.” For the elderly, the biggest incurable disease is being alone in life.
“Uncle Lu is one of more than 600 senior citizens who have come to the center to register for a partner.” Yu Zhumei, head of the Old Money Charity Matchmaker Service Center in Kaixuan Street, Jianggan District, Hangzhou, said that the marriage of people over 60 has basically divorced from the desire and passion of the young, and is more about finding a companion at the end of the road of life.
Luo Hongyuan, director of the Family and Marriage Center in Haishu District, Ningbo City, Zhejiang Province, said the demand for marriage among the elderly is increasing. Since January 2020, Haishu District has provided matchmaking services for nearly 10,000 customers, including nearly 1,000 senior citizens.
Haishu District, Ningbo City, the scene of middle-aged and elderly friends
What are the stumbling blocks on the way to love
Ms. Yu said that among the elderly people who registered at the center, those supported by their children and those opposed by their children accounted for almost 50 percent. The main reason for the opposition is that the children are worried that the old people will share their property and savings with their other half after marriage, which will affect their property inheritance, or even that the old people will be cheated into marriage and wealth.
Yu said that in order to reduce their children’s worries, more than half of the elderly couples who get matchmaking choose to stay together instead of getting married. If one of them is ill or unable to take care of himself or herself, they often go back to their homes to be taken care of by their children or in a nursing home.
Public opinion and the attitudes of relatives and friends are often the main barriers to remarriage, according to Bao Ya Li, a charity matchmaker. Traditionally, remarriage among older people is considered impropriety, and women in particular are under greater pressure. In many of her cases, women remarry at about a third the rate of men.
“Better to own than not own, better to be widowed than divorced…” Gongshu district of hangzhou sox uncle matchmaking Qin Rengen public station chief, said some of the old people find the requirements of the object is not low, sometimes even than young people to choose, such as male looking for 10 years younger even at the age of 15, women hope to find the big three to five years, and four yuan per month pension, the best is a retired civil servant or retired teachers. The existence of “old to date disdain chain” makes it difficult for some elderly people to remarry.
It is difficult to break the old man’s remarriage, which requires joint efforts
According to Yang Jianhua, president of Zhejiang Sociology Society, a happy marriage in later life is conducive to the health and longevity of the elderly and social harmony and stability. For the elderly’s pursuit of happiness, children should respect and understand, and the society should give tolerance. When the old people remarry, they should correct their state of mind and take care of each other for the will, rather than for the purpose of profit. For example, men who remarry are not looking for a “nanny” for themselves, and women who marry are not looking for a “financier” for themselves.
Jianggan District, Hangzhou City, the scene of the middle-aged and elderly friends
“In terms of the various problems existing in remarriage among the elderly, the most prominent contradiction is property disputes.” Yan Liangqi, a lawyer with Beijing Yingke (Jinhua) Law Firm, suggested that when elderly people remarry, they should register their property before marriage and sign a prenuptial property agreement to live as an economically independent spouse to reduce their children’s and their own concerns about inheritance and support. At the same time, the elderly without a house and living in difficulties should also agree on the relevant right of residence to protect their rights and interests.
“To agree on responsibilities and divide property through legal channels is not a defense of feelings or indifference, but more of a guarantee of feelings.” Yan Liangqi said relevant departments need to strengthen guidance and mediation on the potential risks and conflicts of interest that may exist in the marriage of the elderly.
In addition, the reporter of BanyueTan found that due to the lack of formal matchmaking agencies and the limited social network of the elderly, it is difficult for them to find a partner and easy for them to be cheated into marriage and money. In this regard, Yu and others suggested that the government strengthen the construction and management of intermediary service agencies for elderly remarriage, and incubate and cultivate more public welfare organizations to provide services for elderly remarriage.